The song. This time.

When Lee and I ended things I came to find comfort in a song but Kurt Elling called "Time to Say Goodbye". I wrote a blog about it, and that song became the source of my mentality when it comes to heart ache. While the message still resonates with me right now, I didn't find the same comfort in it that I once did.
I've always found music to be one of the most powerful forces in my life. I find a sense of calm in it that I can't find anywhere else. The right combination of chords can set the tone for my day, week, or month. For some reason this song is having a profound effect on me right now. I haven't figured out what it all means to me, but it definitely echoes what I'm feeling.
I get to a place where I'm happy, where the world feels at balance and I feel like I settle in to what my life is at this point. Yet something always comes around to remind me of my struggles. I feel like so much of what I used to find comfort in has been lost, and at times it's all I can think about.
There is the beauty in life that has always been there, I see it frequently, but I forget it's there from time to time and allow myself to be overtaken by the negative.
My last significant breakup was less of a struggle than this one, I didn't lose as much when everything was said and done. So it makes sense that the song that helps me find my way out is less directly positive. The Velvet Goldmine is a source of hope for me. All will be well, just have to let time and life run its course.

p.s. I apologize for yet another seemingly downer blog. I tend to not express negative emotions in my interactions with those around me. My blog offers me an avenue in which to convey the emotions I don't feel comfortable conveying. I am doing well, I just occasionally need a way to let my struggles be known.

Maize Maze

Here's the updated list once again! This past weekend I went to the McCall's Haunted Corn Maze. I had never been before but always heard of it so it quickly made it onto my NM Bucket List. I tagged along with Amanda and several of her friends. Which was a great idea because only enjoy these things when others are getting scared, and they provided plenty of entertainment! The highlight of the night though was John (A-Mo's Boyfriend) telling all of the employee's A-Mo's name so they could personalize their scares. I tried to get some pictures, but it the lighting was pretty horrible (but not as horrible as my phone's camera).

Our group's wrist bands, A-Mo's is the one cutting off all blood to her hand... woops.

 The line to get into the Haunted Barn

 A not so nice picture of A-mo and I

 A group picture outside of the maze

So scary!

In the end it was a really nice night! I'm so happy Amanda invited me to tag along! I'm slowly making my way through my list. 

Day 28

I am at home enjoying my last rest day from Phase 1 of P90X. As I said in an earlier blog, I am not going to be making a huge deal about this program as I have in the past, but I am pretty proud of myself today. I haven't missed a single workout, and haven't shifted the schedule around at all!

As I said... I'm really proud of myself! I'm taking my result pictures of course, but I'm holding off on posting those for the time being. But I will say I am feeling great! I'm noticing some definite changes in my energy levels and physical appearance.

Tomorrow I start Phase 2. I've made it this far in the program once before, but I did not have the focus I have now. I will finish it this time, and I'll feel fantastic when I do.

Balloon Fiesta!

Alrighty! Another NM Bucket List Goal done! For those of you who are following, I will be updated my list as I go along. I'll link every time to the original list!

This week was Balloon Fiesta. Since it's been years I decided that I needed to go. Several years ago my family had gone to the balloon fiesta and I joined a chase crew for a balloon owned by one of my dad's co-workers. After talking with A-mo, who told me she had always wanted to go on a balloon ride, I decided to see if my dad could get me in touch with his co-worker.

I reached her and we all decided that this past Wednesday would be the best possible day for us to be able to ride! I was so thrilled, what a perfect way to spend my last year at balloon fiesta!

Unfortunately when the time finally came things didn't work out. The weather had been too bad several days before and they weren't able to fly. Which meant all of their sponsors got bumped to the day we were supposed to fly. While I was disappointed, it didn't ruin the day. I had a fantastic time just wandering around the park with A-Mo. It made me realize that while I'm getting anxious for my move, there's still a lot NM has to offer. It's been my home my whole life, I shouldn't discredit it so quickly. I'm super excited to explore the rest of my bucket list. I have a feeling it'll make me appreciate this place a lot more.

And we ended the morning by going to the Range and getting some Huevos Rancheros! Given that this day was part of my NM Bucket List I decided I had to go with Christmas!

Haunted corn maze is next!