Sunday afternoon... blog time!

This weekend was rather momentous.

I moved one of my closest friends to another city in another state. I had a couple of thoughts during this process. While I'll miss Dea and Ryan now that they're 7-8 hours away, it doesn't seem all that bad as I've decided that Denver is the place for me. I'd said before that I was looking into Denver as a post-college move, but after simply driving through the city it confirmed it for me. Talking with my mom's cousin I as reassured that the move was right for me.

Along with this excitement went another issue. I had yet another mini-freak-out about being on my own. Not having my parents there to help me out when I need it. Dea and Ryan's place was perfect! While unloading all of their stuff the occasional thought of "life in a relationship is easier" came up. Being on my own in a new city will be hard both emotionally and financially, but slowly as the day progressed I became more comfortable with the idea. I'm ready for it! And with some friends already waiting for me I'm sure I'll have no problem!

Now for the topic I had intended to write about last weekend. As those of you who are close to me already know, I've decided to do P90X. Ya know, that informertial you always see where a beef head tells you "In ninety days you could become as ripped as me" (alright not quite like that). I kept seeing those on TV and one day decided to do some research. That one day of research because a few months of continual research/decision making. Ultimately I decided I would do it, online forums not connected with the program sing it's praises, and I began following a guy who had already done it with amazing results and was beginning his second round. So here's the break down: My reason for doing it, what it means, and what I'm asking of my friends.

The Why:
About when I was in the sixth grade I switched running around with my friends outside to play inside with video games and toys. This combined with an over whelming desire for milk, cheese and junk food led me to be a pretty large 7th grader. The thing I can remember most is my aunt's constant remarks about how big I was getting and how bothered she was by it. I believe it was this that began my insecurities about how I look. I stopped swimming with my shirt off because I was too afraid of the remarks that would follow, even my friends in middle school had comments that I wasn't ready to deal with at that age.
This led me to some really unhealthy action in high school. I stopped using the money my parents would give me for lunch to buy food and instead save it. The main purpose of this was I didn't feel right eating. Were it not for my parent's tradition of eating together every night at the dinner table this tendency would have led into some pretty serious anorexia I'm sure.
Senior year I leveled out and since then I've made it a point to eat healthier, exercise a decent amount and regulate my weight. But certain insecurities follow me to today. I still avoid swimming because I don't want to be seen shirtless. I look back and point to several failed relationship attempts that I blame on my body type, and though this ridiculous insecurity is probably false I can't escape the feeling.
My reason for taking on this program is for confidence, even if I don't come out of it a complete beefcake (too many muscles are gross anyways), I want to be comfortable in my own skin... which hasn't happened for as long as I can remember.

The what:
For the next three months I will be doing daily exercises that last about an hour and a half. With where I started I will have 1 day of rest a week, Saturday. I already eat pretty healthily when I'm the one preparing the food and the nutrition plan that comes with the program is very meat heavy. So as far as the nutritional aspects of my next three months I've decided on a few extra limitations/rules to what I consume. For starters I am kicking alcohol, that's right not even one G&T or glass of wine for 90 days.
I'm going to be consuming a large amount of protein, because of this necessity I'm going to be limiting my meals out to 1 a week. That way I can still enjoy dinners out with my friends several times a month but still monitor what I'm eating.

The how:
And finally what I'm asking of you. Help me! 3 months of this lifestyle is not going to be easy at all. I'm doing every thing I can to make sure I have the drive to keep it up. This blog post is part of that. A great deal of my hidden insecurities I threw out there with the expectations that you knowing them will make me want to overcome them.
The program tells you to take photos to follow your progress, several photos on days 1, 30, 60 and finally 90. I've taken my day 1 photos but am not posting them just yet. I will take my 30 day, but won't be posting any of them until my day 45. There will be three sets of photos at that point, hopefully showing some great progress.


So yeah, 90 days of me pushing myself hard. I finished the first day already and it was not easy at all. So help me... I ask that you not push me to break the rules I set out for myself and instead push me to follow them. It's gonna be a hard three months, but with your help I'm sure it'll be worth it!

Expect bi-weekly posts from this point on, I'll post about how the program's going and update on other random aspects of my life!