... is killing me!
According to the countdown clock on my phone I have 22 days 10 hours 14 minutes left until I board the plane for Chicago. I had originally picked June 22nd as my moving day because I had planned on being in The Producers at ALT. When I decided to not be a part of that production I figured a month off from work before my move would be nice, a good time to say my farewells. I suppose that is turning out to be true, but mostly I'm just going stir-crazy.
Tuesday I decided I needed to pack some, within 2 hours I was done with everything but my clothing. I guess I didn't realize how easy it would be for me to pick up and leave, but now that's all I want to do. Don't get me wrong, on an emotional level saying goodbye to New Mexico is going to be rough. Really rough. I've only had to do a few significant goodbyes so far, most of them being on my last day of work, but they've been hard. The connections I've made here in New Mexico (the ones that haven't already dissipated over the last year that is) are important to me. They've shaped me into who I am. That's not going to be a simple thing to leave behind.
That being said though, I'm feeling more alone now than I have in a while, but it's not getting me down. Maybe it's just because I'm leaving soon so the ache isn't there, or maybe I've just finally become an independent person.
I'm in a strange place. I want to leave now. I want to walk out my door, board a plane, and start my new life already. I don't want to say goodbye to all my friends and family, but I feel all I'm doing is sitting around waiting... lets just get this thing going already!
Well... only 22 days 9 hours 51 minutes to go...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Simon,
ReplyDeleteI must admit that I'm not the least bit surprised you're feeling this way right now. As time got closer to leaving home, family and friends, I noticed for myself that emotions seemed to transform in a strange way.
It's also surely driving you insane to not be busy at least half of your day (with work- and then also with shows).
You can start job-hunting while you're still waiting. Resumes can take forever to compile, and while a lot of jobs may be posting up positions they want to hire right now, there's always a possibility that some employers will have postings that they dont plan to hire on until late next month.
I'm glad you're working on your NM bucket list--- I'm sure it's helping the time go by more quickly. i wish I had done more stuff like that before I left NM.
On the note about independence, good for you! I'm not 100% sure I ever reached that feeling completely before meeting Sean. I wish I had, though. I think it makes a person feel whole to know how to be completely content without depending on someone else.
I hope time moves more quickly for you. As long as you keep yourself busy doing anything you can think of, I'm sure that will make a difference.
Miss you lots!!!
-Antoinette