Ya know what sucks?

Okay, I'm prefacing this by saying I'm in a great place right now. I haven't updated this in a while because I've been so busy with theatre, and having a blast with it. It's made me realize how much I've missed performing the past few years... but now to the point of this blog.

Ya know what sucks?
As anyone who knows me knows, I don't open up... to anyone... Friends that I have been close to for years know that there are always walls up, things I won't talk about. I'm just extremely rarely willing to let people in. I'm sure that has held me back from having some really strong friendships, but I try to make up for it by being willing to bend over backwards for the people I care about at a moment's notice.

While Gilbert and I were together I finally let my guard down for someone... It felt amazing. The end result of that, though, was a bigger fall when I learned of the degree to which he stabbed that trust in the back. I'm not mad at him. I'm not still clinging onto the relationship I lost. In fact I'm doing pretty darn well being single! I'm having fun doing things for myself for the first time in several years. Gilbert is nothing to me now but a piece of my history. But tonight I really got thinking about how frustrating it is that I can't bring myself to trust people entirely...

I don't know where this thought process is headed, but I want to apologize to all the INCREDIBLE people that I have been fortunate enough to get to know. You all mean so much to me, even if I won't tell you that to your face, or if I seem untrusting... I really do value the friendships we have! I just may not express it the way most people do.

I'll post an update soon! I only have a few months left in NM and have a lot to get done in that time!