Something Amazing Happened...

Something amazing happened the other day. I posted that picture of myself on this blog and it started a chain reaction of huge shifts in the way I am feeling about life.

I posted the picture (read my previous blog if you haven't already!) and a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I felt fantastic about myself, and I did that all by myself. I'm the one who pushed play, I'm the one who committed myself to getting in shape and succeeded. The first time I did P90X was 3 years ago, I was single and had the drive to get 2/3 through the program on my own. During the 2.5 years I was in a relationship we tried as a couple to get fit several times, but always failed. I did it on my own now.

Being with Gilbert was a huge hit on my confidence. I didn't deal with his success very well, and he didn't deal with what his local fame did to me very well. We were both unfair to each other when it came to this topic, but the end result for me was greater insecurity.

Since he broke up with me I've spent my time being angry with him, feeling rejected by my friends, and feeling sad about where my life has led me. Posting that blog changed everything. I realized I've always been better without Gilbert. He may have made me happy, but I've always been a better person when I wasn't in a relationship with him. Realizing this made all the negative feelings wash away. I'm no longer mad at him. I'm no longer sad about where my life is. I'm actually really happy with where I'm at. I can't wait to move, make new friends, and start dating again. My confidence has flocked back to me in ways I've never experienced before.

It's cheesy, but I feel like a new person. One without the emotional baggage from my past. A person who is sure of himself and ready for the next adventure that's just beyond the horizon.