Moving forward. Moving on.

I'm getting there. Every day I'm feeling better and better about where I'm at with this whole break up thing.

Currently I'm sitting in John and Arielle's living room in Denver. It's been a long time since I drove up here on my own. While it would have been nice to have someone along for the ride, it helped me to re-realize that I can do okay on my own. The whole process is working to get me ready for my move.

So I'm giving myself deadlines! As I said in the last blog, on June 22nd I will be moving. I haven't decided where yet, but I'm going to set a date that I have to decide by, December 22nd. I figure six months with a city in mind will give me enough time to get ready for the move!

I'm honing in on a more specific purpose for this blog. As soon as I do these simple updates will become less of what this blog is about. So stay tuned! Hopefully this will be an entertaining read again soon!

Mostly just wanted to put some dates out there in the universe with this one! Off to explore Denver!

Picking Up the Pieces

When I started this blog a few years ago I said that I wouldn't use it for negative posts, or mopey posts, and to some degree I've fallen into that again. Given my most recent situation it's understandable, but even before that I had some downer posts. This blog may have some degree of that, but this will be the of it's kind.

So I've moved. Joe opened up a room to me and I moved in a week ago. I'm all set up but not settled. I'm still getting used to being in a bed by myself. Add into that all of the dreams I keep having about Gilbert breaking up with me all over again and you have a pretty difficult past week. It's just the struggle of moving forward, and I know I'll get over it, but for now... it kinda sucks.

I started my school job again last week! So two jobs are now occupying the majority of my time, couldn't have happened at a better time. No shows in sight as of now, but they'll come! I'm also planning trips to Chicago and Denver to try and figure out where I wanna ultimately move.

I've set a moving date. June 22nd. I have to move by that date or earlier. I decided that if I don't set a date to work towards I'd keep coming up with reasons to not move yet.

I have so much opportunity in front of me, and I honestly am excited to see where life takes me! I'm sad I'll be doing it on my own again, but I guess that just means there's more opportunity for a different future.

So that's where I'm at these days. Working on becoming optimistic about the road ahead, and getting better at it every day. I have been so lucky to have amazing friends and parents to support me, definitely made this life shift significantly easier.

So thank you all! The next post will be much more positive. I promise!

A Change of Plans

I watched a movie recently called The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. In it a character says "Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." I've come into a struggle as of late and I've chosen to take this on as my mantra to get through it.

Gilbert and I have broken up, and while my heart is in pieces on the floor, I'm trying to be positive. The time finally came for us to face the fact that we couldn't give what each other needed. There were other problems that lead up to the final moments, most of which I'll accept the fault for, but the biggest issue that always waited for us to face was that.

We're ending on really good terms. He's my best friend, I'd hate myself if I ruined our friendship. It's going to take a while to get back to it, but I know we'll still be close when all is said and done.

I wouldn't give up the past 2.5 years for anything. I had an amazing time, made some amazing memories, and learned some surprising things about myself. Most notably that I am capable of truly opening up to someone.

I will always love Gilbert. I will always think back fondly to the incredible adventure that our relationship was. I have a hard few months ahead of me, picking up the pieces when your life falls apart is never easy, but I know I'll be the better for it all in the end. Gilbert has changed my life.



For you Bany. I hope you find happiness. You're destined for some amazing things, I can't wait to be there cheering you on as you achieve your dreams. Thank you for giving me the time we had together.