It's 4:30. I work in less than 4 hours. But for the life of me I can't seem to fall asleep. My boyfriend is passed out in the other room and I'd love nothing more than to cuddle up along side him and drift away. So what do I do instead, blog!!!! It's been way to long, and since I'm not doing anything else right now, why not update. And who knows maybe it'll help me get tired.
I'll start with work. I'm working two jobs right now, Desert Hills as a BMS, and Gilbert's parent's office helping with clerical duties. I hate the former, and actually really enjoy the latter. My job at Desert Hills puts me into situations where I'm responsible for helping a kid control his problem behaviors in his everyday life, with minimal support from my supervisors. I am not a therapist, and I'm not to be acting as one in this job. So how much am I really supposed to help. My client has become extremely difficult over the past 2 months and it makes going into work everyday dreadful. I thought I'd be ready for what the job entailed because of my upbringing and the difficulties with one of my siblings, but instead all I can think is "why am I doing this again?"
My job at the tax service however is a blast. I work with people who have grand personalities, who respect me and the work I do. I've undertaken projects and walk out everyday feeling like I've done something productive, not simply struggled with a troubled teen. So I'm on the hunt for something else... Dunno what just yet, but something.
I've been living with Antoinette for almost a year now, Gilbert officially moved in about a month or two after that. I love our living situation! It's been amazing being close with Antoinette again after we had grown apart over the past few years. Between the three of us we have a lot of fun even if it's just being lazy around the house. After this Gilbert and I will be moving into his grandma's house. That sounds weird, but she lives in a monstrous house. She's offered her entire downstairs to us rent free so we can save money to move to New York following Gilbert's graduation in May of next year. The downstairs consists of 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, a bar, and a huge room that Gilbert and I will be using as our bedroom. I'm excited about this arrangement for many reasons, and while I was initially worried about some loss of independence, I don't think that'll be much of an issue. Gilbert's grandma has promised us complete privacy. However I'm also looking forward to getting closer to his family over the next year!
And then there's Gilbert and I's relationships. I've never been in such an open and honest relationship, in every way. If there's a problem, we discuss it. There are no secrets about how each other feels about what's going on between us ever. We have our arguments like everyone else, but we've actually come up to a brilliant way of dealing with our problems. Our current struggle is one that I saw coming a while ago...
Gilbert is going to be spending two months this summer in Oklahoma doing professional theatre. I'm completely thrilled for him as this is an amazing opportunity and he completely deserves it! The problem I'm having is the fear of Long Distance Relationships. I've been in several before and they've always been the downfall of the relationship. My most significant relationship before Gilbert ended when my ex studied abroad and chose to be able to date or sleep with anyone he wanted rather than preserve his relationship at home. Because of how this old relationship played out I've been unreasonably uncomfortable with Gilbert's stay in Oklahoma. It's something I'm working on, and Gilbert has been amazingly understanding through it all. It scares me, but I know that our relationship is strong. We've made rules about communication, to include at least one video chat conversation a week but hopefully many more than that. I've already started planning my trip out there to see him. In the end, I am confident we'll make it through these two months. I just have to remind myself that he is not my ex, and our relationship is much stronger.
Well I'm going to start dragging on soon if I don't stop. So I'm calling this update done. I'll start updating more often very soon.
Here's hoping I'll hit the pillow and pass out! Goodnight all!
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