It's almost amusing that I only ever blog when it's late at night. I suppose it's because I'm normally only up late at night if I'm thinking too much to sleep. Which is half of what tonight is. The other half is that I threw out my back at work today and am in quite a bit of pain and can't seem to get comfy.
So real quick a rant about that! I threw out my back about 15 minutes into my work day while I was taking chairs off of tables as part of the opening work. I got about half-way done with the dining room and out of no where my back tensed up and I couldn't breathe because the expanding of my lungs made my back hurt like hell. I lied down for a few minutes and was able to walk a bit. I was concerned because I couldn't bend over to pick things up, couldn't carry heavy objects, and was struggling to even walk without pain. So I called the on call person, and she refused to come in... So in the end, I worked a double... Yeah, freakin sucked. Luckily the manager was understanding and cut me early both shifts. But it still made for a stressful, and painful, day. Tomorrow I work another double with limited mobility, this time apparently with limited sleep on top of that!
So an update! For the few of you who actually read this, especially after the months of no posts. Work is good! I am working for APS as an educational assistant, but since it's summer I don't have to work there. So I took over Gilbert's job at Tomato Cafe while he's away. The APS job is a huge step up from Desert Hills and I've thoroughly enjoyed it! The only problem I have is a few of my co-workers who are bigoted in ways I thought I'd be spared from for at least another year. I'll post on them another time, but the work is good! Tomato Cafe has been a perfect summer job! I love the majority of the people I work with. It can get stressful but never anything over whelming. I'm making decent money, not enough to live off of, but luckily I don't need that money to support myself. The management has been fantastic! I've had a pretty busy schedule outside of work and have had no troubles at all with getting the days I needed off!
Performing has been something I haven't done near as much as I'd like over the past year. I'm still struggling with some vocal issues but am back in voice lessons to try and work through them. I also have an appointment with a Speech Pathologist next month. So I'm trying to recover. I did however get cast in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying! I'll be playing Bud Frump who is essentially the antagonist of the story. It's a character part again, which I kinda wanted to start distancing myself from, but oh well. I need to be performing so I gotta take what I can get!
My love life has been surprisingly good as of late. Gilbert's been in Oklahoma and it's been 35 days since I've seen him face to face or kissed him. We talk a lot, at least twice a day, and we've video chatted almost every day! That wasn't our original plan, but he gets poor cell phone reception in the house he's staying in so we've had to use Skype as our primary means of communication. The past few days have been fairly weak on the communication side however, which has a lot to do with me being awake right now. He's gotten busy and I've unfortunately felt like I've been bumped down on his priority list. I know that's me over thinking things, and we're still doing great. Plus I get to see him in 5 days! After living with someone for a year and spending every day with them, it's hard not to have a really intense longing for them when you can't kiss them or hold them. But that'll be cured for a while in just a few days, I need it...
I think that's all... I'm sadly not tired at all, which is awful because I work in 5 hours and am still in quite a bit of pain. But such is life right?
I'll try and be better about updating... I don't know if anyone actually reads this but it certainly helps me to just put all my thoughts down. I'd start a journal if I didn't feel silly about doing it...
Good night all, but more like good morning as it's so freakin early!!!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
I hate my body and mind...
It's 4:30. I work in less than 4 hours. But for the life of me I can't seem to fall asleep. My boyfriend is passed out in the other room and I'd love nothing more than to cuddle up along side him and drift away. So what do I do instead, blog!!!! It's been way to long, and since I'm not doing anything else right now, why not update. And who knows maybe it'll help me get tired.
I'll start with work. I'm working two jobs right now, Desert Hills as a BMS, and Gilbert's parent's office helping with clerical duties. I hate the former, and actually really enjoy the latter. My job at Desert Hills puts me into situations where I'm responsible for helping a kid control his problem behaviors in his everyday life, with minimal support from my supervisors. I am not a therapist, and I'm not to be acting as one in this job. So how much am I really supposed to help. My client has become extremely difficult over the past 2 months and it makes going into work everyday dreadful. I thought I'd be ready for what the job entailed because of my upbringing and the difficulties with one of my siblings, but instead all I can think is "why am I doing this again?"
My job at the tax service however is a blast. I work with people who have grand personalities, who respect me and the work I do. I've undertaken projects and walk out everyday feeling like I've done something productive, not simply struggled with a troubled teen. So I'm on the hunt for something else... Dunno what just yet, but something.
I've been living with Antoinette for almost a year now, Gilbert officially moved in about a month or two after that. I love our living situation! It's been amazing being close with Antoinette again after we had grown apart over the past few years. Between the three of us we have a lot of fun even if it's just being lazy around the house. After this Gilbert and I will be moving into his grandma's house. That sounds weird, but she lives in a monstrous house. She's offered her entire downstairs to us rent free so we can save money to move to New York following Gilbert's graduation in May of next year. The downstairs consists of 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, a bar, and a huge room that Gilbert and I will be using as our bedroom. I'm excited about this arrangement for many reasons, and while I was initially worried about some loss of independence, I don't think that'll be much of an issue. Gilbert's grandma has promised us complete privacy. However I'm also looking forward to getting closer to his family over the next year!
And then there's Gilbert and I's relationships. I've never been in such an open and honest relationship, in every way. If there's a problem, we discuss it. There are no secrets about how each other feels about what's going on between us ever. We have our arguments like everyone else, but we've actually come up to a brilliant way of dealing with our problems. Our current struggle is one that I saw coming a while ago...
Gilbert is going to be spending two months this summer in Oklahoma doing professional theatre. I'm completely thrilled for him as this is an amazing opportunity and he completely deserves it! The problem I'm having is the fear of Long Distance Relationships. I've been in several before and they've always been the downfall of the relationship. My most significant relationship before Gilbert ended when my ex studied abroad and chose to be able to date or sleep with anyone he wanted rather than preserve his relationship at home. Because of how this old relationship played out I've been unreasonably uncomfortable with Gilbert's stay in Oklahoma. It's something I'm working on, and Gilbert has been amazingly understanding through it all. It scares me, but I know that our relationship is strong. We've made rules about communication, to include at least one video chat conversation a week but hopefully many more than that. I've already started planning my trip out there to see him. In the end, I am confident we'll make it through these two months. I just have to remind myself that he is not my ex, and our relationship is much stronger.
Well I'm going to start dragging on soon if I don't stop. So I'm calling this update done. I'll start updating more often very soon.
Here's hoping I'll hit the pillow and pass out! Goodnight all!
I'll start with work. I'm working two jobs right now, Desert Hills as a BMS, and Gilbert's parent's office helping with clerical duties. I hate the former, and actually really enjoy the latter. My job at Desert Hills puts me into situations where I'm responsible for helping a kid control his problem behaviors in his everyday life, with minimal support from my supervisors. I am not a therapist, and I'm not to be acting as one in this job. So how much am I really supposed to help. My client has become extremely difficult over the past 2 months and it makes going into work everyday dreadful. I thought I'd be ready for what the job entailed because of my upbringing and the difficulties with one of my siblings, but instead all I can think is "why am I doing this again?"
My job at the tax service however is a blast. I work with people who have grand personalities, who respect me and the work I do. I've undertaken projects and walk out everyday feeling like I've done something productive, not simply struggled with a troubled teen. So I'm on the hunt for something else... Dunno what just yet, but something.
I've been living with Antoinette for almost a year now, Gilbert officially moved in about a month or two after that. I love our living situation! It's been amazing being close with Antoinette again after we had grown apart over the past few years. Between the three of us we have a lot of fun even if it's just being lazy around the house. After this Gilbert and I will be moving into his grandma's house. That sounds weird, but she lives in a monstrous house. She's offered her entire downstairs to us rent free so we can save money to move to New York following Gilbert's graduation in May of next year. The downstairs consists of 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a living room, a bar, and a huge room that Gilbert and I will be using as our bedroom. I'm excited about this arrangement for many reasons, and while I was initially worried about some loss of independence, I don't think that'll be much of an issue. Gilbert's grandma has promised us complete privacy. However I'm also looking forward to getting closer to his family over the next year!
And then there's Gilbert and I's relationships. I've never been in such an open and honest relationship, in every way. If there's a problem, we discuss it. There are no secrets about how each other feels about what's going on between us ever. We have our arguments like everyone else, but we've actually come up to a brilliant way of dealing with our problems. Our current struggle is one that I saw coming a while ago...
Gilbert is going to be spending two months this summer in Oklahoma doing professional theatre. I'm completely thrilled for him as this is an amazing opportunity and he completely deserves it! The problem I'm having is the fear of Long Distance Relationships. I've been in several before and they've always been the downfall of the relationship. My most significant relationship before Gilbert ended when my ex studied abroad and chose to be able to date or sleep with anyone he wanted rather than preserve his relationship at home. Because of how this old relationship played out I've been unreasonably uncomfortable with Gilbert's stay in Oklahoma. It's something I'm working on, and Gilbert has been amazingly understanding through it all. It scares me, but I know that our relationship is strong. We've made rules about communication, to include at least one video chat conversation a week but hopefully many more than that. I've already started planning my trip out there to see him. In the end, I am confident we'll make it through these two months. I just have to remind myself that he is not my ex, and our relationship is much stronger.
Well I'm going to start dragging on soon if I don't stop. So I'm calling this update done. I'll start updating more often very soon.
Here's hoping I'll hit the pillow and pass out! Goodnight all!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Insanity!
Heya,
Not a real update, just posting a link to the blog Gilbert and I have created for our new project!
http://gilbertandleonardgoinsane.blogspot.com/
Please follow and help us make it a success!
I'll post here when something significant happens. Haha!
Not a real update, just posting a link to the blog Gilbert and I have created for our new project!
http://gilbertandleonardgoinsane.blogspot.com/
Please follow and help us make it a success!
I'll post here when something significant happens. Haha!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010->2011
Well that went fast. There are so many of my friends who are so happy to see 2010 move to the shelf with every other year. I guess I'm lucky that despite all the bad, I still feel like I had a good year.
Lets start with the bad. I lost my Grandma. While it was hard to see her go and I'll miss her dearly, the last month of her life was really rough on all of us, especially her. She's no longer suffering in anyway, and her life before she passed was just what it should have been, comforting and loving. I have no regrets about the time I had with her. She will forever be a part of who I am.
Next, I had a job that made me talk on the phone for 10hrs a day which ended up shredding my voice. I quit that job some time ago but for some reason have still not regained my voice entirely. I did enough to perform in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, but it wasn't my best work...
And ya know what... As far as I can think that's the worst of my year... Yeah there were other things, but everything was resolved.
Now for the good. We'll get the one that everyone will roll their eyes at out of the way first. Gilbert and I have now passed the one year mark! Even though we can't say we've never fought anymore, we still have an amazing relationship. There is nothing that we can't talk about and we're very honest with one another. We live together now and are looking into getting a house to stay in until he graduates. Bottom line, though my bad wasn't too bad this year having him around has helped. I've never had the support system I have in him. I can't wait to see where we go together.
More good: I graduated!!! YAY! I miss school, but it's nice to have one of those giant life steps behind me. And what am I doing with that degree in theatre??? Working as a Behavior Management Specialist... okay... so theatre jobs are few and far between.
This blog could be forever long, I could go into detail about all the good and bad, but I don't think any of you really want to read all of that. I certainly don't want to write it all. This year was a good year for me. I've grown closer to some people, and grown apart from others. Most of the people I've grown apart from I really miss... I'm hoping 2011 will bring some opportunities to rekindle some friendships that have suffered.
Finally my resolution(s) for 2011: Now that I'm out of school and just waiting around to move, I don't have much of a focus or drive. So my new years resolution for 2011 is to be able to look back this time next year and be able to point out several ways I have bettered myself in the past year. Be that taking dance class, furthering my vocal abilities, getting buff (haha) or anything.
Hope this new year treats you all well!
Lets start with the bad. I lost my Grandma. While it was hard to see her go and I'll miss her dearly, the last month of her life was really rough on all of us, especially her. She's no longer suffering in anyway, and her life before she passed was just what it should have been, comforting and loving. I have no regrets about the time I had with her. She will forever be a part of who I am.
Next, I had a job that made me talk on the phone for 10hrs a day which ended up shredding my voice. I quit that job some time ago but for some reason have still not regained my voice entirely. I did enough to perform in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, but it wasn't my best work...
And ya know what... As far as I can think that's the worst of my year... Yeah there were other things, but everything was resolved.
Now for the good. We'll get the one that everyone will roll their eyes at out of the way first. Gilbert and I have now passed the one year mark! Even though we can't say we've never fought anymore, we still have an amazing relationship. There is nothing that we can't talk about and we're very honest with one another. We live together now and are looking into getting a house to stay in until he graduates. Bottom line, though my bad wasn't too bad this year having him around has helped. I've never had the support system I have in him. I can't wait to see where we go together.
More good: I graduated!!! YAY! I miss school, but it's nice to have one of those giant life steps behind me. And what am I doing with that degree in theatre??? Working as a Behavior Management Specialist... okay... so theatre jobs are few and far between.
This blog could be forever long, I could go into detail about all the good and bad, but I don't think any of you really want to read all of that. I certainly don't want to write it all. This year was a good year for me. I've grown closer to some people, and grown apart from others. Most of the people I've grown apart from I really miss... I'm hoping 2011 will bring some opportunities to rekindle some friendships that have suffered.
Finally my resolution(s) for 2011: Now that I'm out of school and just waiting around to move, I don't have much of a focus or drive. So my new years resolution for 2011 is to be able to look back this time next year and be able to point out several ways I have bettered myself in the past year. Be that taking dance class, furthering my vocal abilities, getting buff (haha) or anything.
Hope this new year treats you all well!
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