Closure

To start, I said that this would be a more positive blog. Meaning I would not dive into negativity, I would not throw myself pity parties, and I am going to hold true to that. That does not mean I will not write a serious blog now and then. This is one of them.

Today must have been one of the most interesting days of the past year of my life. Lee and I got together to finally talk through everything. He had been reading my old blog and had seen every post I had put up about him, which subconsciously was the goal of it all I think. I was angry with him, and after seeing my blogs he was angry with me, rightly so. Despite the anger leading up to the meeting, it was really subdued and mature.

We talked through everything I had posted, everything that I had learned of/thought about since we broke up a little over a year ago. Then we talked bout things inside our relationship that we hadn't talked about before, things that maybe we had been dishonest about. I apologized for the blogs, and for villainizing him for so long to both myself and my friends. We walked to Popejoy Hall so I could get to rehearsal on time and gave each other a hug goodbye. I trusted everything he told me, because he told me things that he didn't have to. Things I didn't need to know, and would possibly never know had he never told me.

Last January I posted a blog on my Livejournal about how I had suffered a broken heart but was going to use it to better myself. The last line of that read "Broken hearts are shit, but be thankful that the person who hurt you is chasing something new, and do the same. Love will always come around again, just give it time, and there is nothing wrong with remembering who you loved to get there." Today was a reprise of that statement and a finale to the longest relationship I have had at this point in my life. I finally feel that it is over, I no longer hold any negativity to the situation or the person it surrounds.

Right now... I feel lonely. I guess it's to be expected. I was reminded once again today that Lee is not a bad person, though I tried to cast him in the role of the antagonist. I fell in love with a great guy, now we've both moved on. I'm grateful I have our relationship behind me to remind me of what I am capable of.