HN-88 and Sunsets

Updated yet again. Quick update on my list. I went to an HN-88 show a few weeks ago! It has been a few years since I've seen them perform, and these days they really know how to put on a show. I was told by Bobby to see one of their bar shows, but since I wasn't sure what my schedule would look like in the coming months I figured I should see the show I know I can make it to. Here are a few pics from the concert. I am going to do my best to see another one of their gigs before I go, especially as Bobby could barely even talk when I saw them!

I've also started trying to get pictures of the on going things I do on the list, such as watching the sunsets. Here are a few I've recently enjoyed! 

Both of these were taken when Christy took me up to the Crest. I can't believe I've lived in Abq for almost 8 years and never new about this place to see sunsets!

This was taken up near the foothills during a date I recently went on. 

This from the top of a cliff he let me up. I'll post more about this date if things progress.

I'll be posting an update soon about what's going on in life. It seems like there's quite a bit currently unrecorded here. :-)

Hitting the ground running.

2 weeks into 2013 and I'm already loaded up with projects for the coming months!

We'll start with fitness. After finishing P90X I took a few weeks off to go on vacation. When I can back I started Insanity, and let me tell you the program definitely lives up to the name. After the first week was finished my weight was sitting stable at 141lbs... Way lighter than I want to be. Given this fact I've decided a cardio intense program isn't what's best for me right now. So I've decided to make the insanity workouts a 3 times a week occurrence. Supplemented by muscle building days in between. So far I'm really digging it. I'm happy with where my body is right now, I love all the definition, but I'm hoping to add some real bulk in the next few months! I'll keep you all posted on that.

Next we come to theatre. Last year was the second year in a row that I did very little theatre, while I hate that fact, it was more intentional than the year before. At the end of last year I auditioned for Tick, Tick...Boom!, I did an amazing job in the callbacks, but didn't get the part. I'm totally cool with that for several reasons. The next day I ran into the assistant director of La Cage Aux Folles, I wasn't able to make the auditions for that show, but she asked me to come to callbacks... which I also wasn't able to make. The following week was littered with several calls back and forth between the director and myself trying to find a time I could come in and read for the role of Jean-Michel. I had told him that given my limited time left in ABQ I was being very choosey about what roles I would take. He understood, but also informed me that they had a guy they wanted for that part. I didn't want him to feel like I was demanding something I didn't even audition for, so I told him I understood if they just wanted to go with the guy who auditioned for the part. With that the door was closed. Until Two weeks ago when I was contacted again and told that the other guy had dropped, and just like that I was in the show!

I've also started putting in some major work on my Cabaret. Hal has agreed to be the director, Paul has agreed to be the accompanist, and Christy, A-Mo, and Jon have all agreed to be in it as well! This evening I printed out most of the music I'll be singing, and began typing up my patter. I'm super excited for the potential in this show!

Lastly, I've decided to take the GRE before leaving NM. No direct plans to return to school yet, but if I take the test I can head up to Chicago, get residency, and then decide if there's a program I want to jump into. It's stupid, but I got giddy at the prospect of heading back to school! I miss learning!

Because of all of this I have decided to leave my second job. I'm sad to be leaving this job as it's obvious I'm appreciated there by my co-workers and managers, but it'll be too much to keep up with both jobs. I'm going to miss the awesome people I have come to know at Tomato Cafe.

So there we go... A long update on what my life is right now, and what it'll be in the months to come! I'm looking forward to how busy I'm going to be, especially with everyone moving away.

Madrid at Christmas + HS Reunion of sorts

This is still a goal by the way. I realize I haven't posted about my NM bucket list in a while, but I'm still planning on getting these things done.

Over the past month I have accomplished two of these goals. The first was my drive through Madrid at Christmas time. The town is nothing special, even at christmas time, but one of my favorite Christmas memories as a kid is driving home from my grandparents house and seeing the lights in Madrid. It was like a little Christmas Village in the middle of nowhere.  One Sunday evening after working a double I met up with Christy, we picked up Starbucks, and started our evening trip to Madrid.
The drive was nice, Christy is one of the few people who is consistently there, so the conversation was fun. When we came into Madrid it was almost exactly as I remembered it. Again, the town isn't anything amazing, but the memories it brought up were worth the trip.

It was difficult to get photos that captured the bulk of the street, but those are my best attempt. They don't show off how illuminated the street was unfortunately.

This past weekend I accomplished another one of the items on my list. Antoinette came back in town and wanted to plan a get together of our old group of friends. Amazingly everything worked out! Bobby, Lydia, Aaron, Antoinette, and Amy were all able to be there. It was exactly what I had hoped for, seeing all of them again reminded me of how great HS was. I was am so lucky to still be in touch with them, but I'm sad that it may be a very long time before we're all together again. 

I love Antoinette's face in this one.

Eventually Adam showed up too!

While seeing everyone was amazing, it was especially great to see Bobby. He and I have definitely grown apart since our freshman year of College, but when we get together it's obvious there's still a strong connection there. Definitely going to try to see him more often before I leave.

So there we go! Two more items done! I have a lot more to go, but I'm confident I'll be able to get them done.

Fuck Off 2012!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I’m writing this while sitting on the top bunk of a sleeper car room on a Chicago bound Amtrak train. It’s Christmas. The first Christmas I’ve spent as a single man in 4 years. While I could be spending this time being reminiscent of the love that I had and lost, my mind is elsewhere.

2012 has been an interesting year. I had come to view this year as the year that everything ended. The world did not end as predicted (surprise) but it seems like it’s been a year for many people to say goodbye to important parts of their lives and learn to deal with what those endings mean. Change was a major theme this year, and I certainly wasn’t spared from that.

While I look back and remember the year of endings, I also have to remember the other huge changes that have occurred. I am officially a P90X grad! I know I am supposed to post a blog dedicated to my completion of that goal, but time got in the way. For the first time in my life I am happy with my body! It’s not “perfect” but I feel damn good about myself. I’m starting Insanity on January 1st and can’t wait to see the progress I make over those 60 days!

I also found a new level of independence this past year. Obviously I was forced to find independence following the break up, but I was amazed at how easily that came. I learned to limit myself a little better regarding who I trust. I had a major struggle, but came out the other end a more confident and more guarded person. I am so excited to start exploring new parts of myself in the months to come and following my move.

So here we go... saying goodbye to another year. A year that started out with great promise, but led to more struggle than I’ve faced in a very long time. So fuck off 2012! Bring on 2013, a year of new beginnings, of new cities and new adventures with new friends, of a renewed and recharged me.

Something Amazing Happened...

Something amazing happened the other day. I posted that picture of myself on this blog and it started a chain reaction of huge shifts in the way I am feeling about life.

I posted the picture (read my previous blog if you haven't already!) and a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I felt fantastic about myself, and I did that all by myself. I'm the one who pushed play, I'm the one who committed myself to getting in shape and succeeded. The first time I did P90X was 3 years ago, I was single and had the drive to get 2/3 through the program on my own. During the 2.5 years I was in a relationship we tried as a couple to get fit several times, but always failed. I did it on my own now.

Being with Gilbert was a huge hit on my confidence. I didn't deal with his success very well, and he didn't deal with what his local fame did to me very well. We were both unfair to each other when it came to this topic, but the end result for me was greater insecurity.

Since he broke up with me I've spent my time being angry with him, feeling rejected by my friends, and feeling sad about where my life has led me. Posting that blog changed everything. I realized I've always been better without Gilbert. He may have made me happy, but I've always been a better person when I wasn't in a relationship with him. Realizing this made all the negative feelings wash away. I'm no longer mad at him. I'm no longer sad about where my life is. I'm actually really happy with where I'm at. I can't wait to move, make new friends, and start dating again. My confidence has flocked back to me in ways I've never experienced before.

It's cheesy, but I feel like a new person. One without the emotional baggage from my past. A person who is sure of himself and ready for the next adventure that's just beyond the horizon.

Just something quick.

Okay. So I have a call back today. This will be a challenging call back for several reasons, but I'm forgetting those for a few seconds to post a blog on something else.

It is day 75 of P90X. Today I did Legs and Back for the second to last time. All these workouts are still really challenging, which is great! I'm honestly going to miss this program when I finish!

But given that I'm only slightly over 2 weeks from being finished I'm not going to delve too much into how its going or how I'm feeling. Instead I'm going to do something that is honestly a huge step for me.

The first time I did this program I kept saying I'd post results pics, and I never did. I was never confident in how things were going. Even this round I've been hesitant, my old insecurities still swarming around my head. Today, while getting ready in the mirror I was able to overcome those insecurities. So today I post my first results picture from P90X! This isn't about what the program has done for me as of right now, this is about me finally overcoming a huge problem I've faced for far too long. I'm happy. :-D!

2 more weeks to go, and my fitness journey doesn't stop there! Here I come Insanity!!

Day 56

Well here's another update on P90X. Today is the rest day for my rest week of Phase 2, meaning tomorrow I start the final phase of P90X!

I'm still loving the program. It's keeping me motivated, and I'm finding it really easy to do the workouts every day. Pushing play has become a habit for me now. So far the only time I've been disappointed in myself was last Friday. I pressed play and gave it my best, but it wasn't good enough. My head was killing me, I was exhausted from the week, and as a result I started to get really light headed while doing the workout. I wasn't able to finish the video. I gave my best, and decided not to linger too long on my failing. Woke up the next day feeling refreshed and dove right in.

As far as results go, I've realized that this program isn't going to give me the body I've always dreamed of, but it's definitely a start on a longer process. I haven't noticed much muscle mass being put on, but I'm definitely noticing toning all over. All that annoying squish is vanishing. haha. Definition is popping up in some really exciting places, but I'll save the details for when I finish.

I feel like the reason the muscle isn't coming is because of my diet. Over the past phase especially I haven't been eating as well as I should. I haven't been eating enough to really pack on the muscle, and it hasn't been as healthy as it could be. Still am on my no-cow-dairy kick, and loving it. Once I finish the program I'll reward myself with a pizza and a beer at Il Vicino, but then it's right back to no dairy. I think I've decided to make dairy something I have a few times a year.

So, going into phase 3 I'm setting new rules for myself. I'm dropping sweets and alcohol. There are two exceptions I'm making for this. The first is Thanksgiving, I will allow myself one glass of wine, and one slice of pie. The following night I have a plan with friends to go out clubbing. I'll allow myself to drink some that night, but nothing crazy, no need for extra carbs. Beyond these two days I am booze and sugar free! I'll also be making more of my meals, and making sure I have healthy snacks for the in between.

So here we go! Final phase of P90X. If in the end I can't say that I have the body I've dreamed of, I know I'll at least be able to say I feel healthier. My mind is in a place where working out everyday is a must. I'm so excited to be able to say I completed this program. Don't know what the plan is right after though. I may have to actually join a gym! doh!