Oh What A Night.

An awkward evening leads to a blog post. Probably not the best state of mind to be posting a life update, yet here I am.

Legally Blonde is over, and I'm gonna miss it. I had hoped that Legally Blonde would be a sort of "comeback", and while it did give me that sensation for a great deal of the time I learned by the end that I'm not "there." I had 2 performances where I'd say I was thoroughly unhappy with the work I did. Both times I'm accrediting to illness of some sort, but they were still situations that I was clearly unprepared for as a performer. So, still work to be done there.

At the end of this I'm left questioning myself, once again. And with New York 1 year away I'm beginning to panic. Is this the right path? Is New York really where I should be going? Am I really good enough to make this my career? If I'm not, what do I do then?

I have come to accept that I'm going through a "Quarter-life Crisis." I will be the first to admit that the entire concept is rather silly, and yet I feel it's an adequate way to express my state of mind. I'm 2 years out of college and I am no closer to having any sort of clue what my life will be. Everything feels uncertain and lacking permanence.

I'm stressed, and am sadly taking it out in ways I shouldn't. I'm being far too dramatic for my own good these days, and poor Gilbert is having to deal with it all. Hopefully I'll find a solution soon... Though this is an odd occurrence. I at least have to find a way to deal with it healthier.

So here's the deal, I missed my April blog, so I owe 2 this month. So I will post again before the month is out, but it will be a more positive post. I will not wallow in this mood forever, and I will not subject the people who care enough about me to read this blog to that.