Alright, so I've finally come to a decision, and this blog is going to help me stay positive through the struggle ahead.
First a quick overview of the troubles I've been having. A week before we opened for RENT 2 years ago I lost my voice almost entirely. Luckily I was able to get it back in time for the show, though it was never really perfect through the run. Since then I've felt that I'm in a constant war with my voice. From working at a call center when I lived on a steady diet of Riccola, to just not being able to speak after my day had finished. I finally went and saw a speech pathologist last summer who had to retrain me on how to speak. Apparently my speech pattern was damaging my vocal chords making it a real challenge to sing.
Now to today. My speech patter is significantly better, I have very few issues speaking and rarely have issues where speaking becomes a chore. However a new problem has finally become the target of my frustration. I feel like I can't sing anymore. I've never had to think so much about what I'm doing when I'm singing, and yet still not yielding anywhere near the vocal quality I once had. I told Gilbert the other night that without singing I don't really know who I am. Sounds dramatic yeah, but my degree is in (musical) theatre. I've always sang nearly every second of the day, but these days I haven't been enjoying it. One of my new years resolutions was to do more shows than last year, well this voice issue is the major wrench in that plan. So here's my solution:
I'm currently studying with a voice teacher who was recommended by my speech pathologist. I have had the mentality of dreading each lesson and then leaving feeling unsuccessful. I talked with her last time about her apparent frustration at my lack of progress. She told me that she was actually seeing quite a bit of progress, but that she was being extremely careful with me as she understands that I'm relearning how to sing. She doesn't want me falling into damaging habits that will result in worse problems than last time. After this talk I had on of the most successful lessons in years.
So here's the goal. We move to NYC in about a year and a half. before we go I am going to have a put on a cabaret. This means I have 18 months to regain both my ability to sing and my confidence in my voice. In my last blog I said that I will be posting at least once a month here, so if nothing else I will be giving monthly updates on my progress with my voice. My first update regarding this will hopefully be some good news about the auditions for Legally Blonde which is coming up!
Anyways... There's the blog for the day! Here's hoping for a year of great progress and successes!!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Found on Huffpost
So I read Huffingtonpost constantly. It's one of my primary sources for news on several of the issues I find important. I realize it's not exactly balanced, but often these days I am okay with ignoring the GOP's take on issues.
Anyways, I found this article concerning the Pope's New Year's Address.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/09/pope-benedict-xvi-gay-marriage_n_1194515.html
While this is nothing new, (everyone knows the pope is anti-gay, anti-abortion, and anti-contraception) there was one line in particular that disturbed me. A member of the Catholic Clergy sent a letter to Barack Obama's administration stating that legalizing gay marriage would "precipitate a national conflict between church and state of enormous proportions." Now the realization that this brought about shouldn't be anything new,but I guess I just never looked at the argument quite like this.
Abortion was deemed to be constitutionally legal by the supreme court with Roe v. Wade, and yet there is a continued battle to overturn the ruling. States pass laws that limit down the availability while also making the process even more emotionally torturing to the women than it already is. So what's going to stop the same thing from happening once Gay Marriage is legalized?
I have complete faith that within the next 10 years every state in the country will have legal gay marriage. Whether that be from an act from D.C. or the individual states I don't know, but I'm confident it will happen. But given the continued fight to take away the right of abortion,it's safe to assume the christian right will never yield in their fight to keep the gays from being gay.
If full gay marriage is achieved we'll be faced with an onslaught of threats of overturning the law. If/when that fails they will attempt to change gay marriage to civil unions. If that fails they'll begin taking away the marital tax privileges, or modify spousal hospital rights to exclude gays specifically. The list can go on and on.
It's a grim look forward, I know, but I don't think it's unreasonable to assume. Legalized gay marriage will be a huge step forward, and we need to be prepared for a tough fight even after we achieve victory.
Anyways, I found this article concerning the Pope's New Year's Address.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/09/pope-benedict-xvi-gay-marriage_n_1194515.html
While this is nothing new, (everyone knows the pope is anti-gay, anti-abortion, and anti-contraception) there was one line in particular that disturbed me. A member of the Catholic Clergy sent a letter to Barack Obama's administration stating that legalizing gay marriage would "precipitate a national conflict between church and state of enormous proportions." Now the realization that this brought about shouldn't be anything new,but I guess I just never looked at the argument quite like this.
Abortion was deemed to be constitutionally legal by the supreme court with Roe v. Wade, and yet there is a continued battle to overturn the ruling. States pass laws that limit down the availability while also making the process even more emotionally torturing to the women than it already is. So what's going to stop the same thing from happening once Gay Marriage is legalized?
I have complete faith that within the next 10 years every state in the country will have legal gay marriage. Whether that be from an act from D.C. or the individual states I don't know, but I'm confident it will happen. But given the continued fight to take away the right of abortion,it's safe to assume the christian right will never yield in their fight to keep the gays from being gay.
If full gay marriage is achieved we'll be faced with an onslaught of threats of overturning the law. If/when that fails they will attempt to change gay marriage to civil unions. If that fails they'll begin taking away the marital tax privileges, or modify spousal hospital rights to exclude gays specifically. The list can go on and on.
It's a grim look forward, I know, but I don't think it's unreasonable to assume. Legalized gay marriage will be a huge step forward, and we need to be prepared for a tough fight even after we achieve victory.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
Wow...
I fail...
6 MONTHS WITHOUT A POSTING! That's worse than I've ever done since creating my first blog.
So here we go, 2012 if here and I'm excited for the possibilities it holds. The past few days have been fairly eye opening and I've had a lot of time to really think about things. Now I'm not one for resolutions, but I think this year I need them. So here they are.
#1.
I'll start this one with a list:
1. I'm the biggest push-over in the world.
2. Stealing this one from Dea: I love Team Awesome...Bitch! I'm so happy I have a group of theatre friends again!!!
3. For the first time ever I'm living in a place I don't consider home.
4. Music is my greatest passion, my goal in life is to find someone with the same tastes in music as me.
5. I rarely ever miss people after not seeing them for a while. If I say I miss you it means you're special.
6. I never liked wine until Dea and her alcoholic ways showed me the light... I love my wine buddy!!!
7. I've been a vegetarian for over two years now, and plan to continue being one until I'm told by a doctor to stop for health reasons.
8. I've still never once been high. Hadn't been drunk until a week after my 21st birthday.
9. I think dark hair and blue eyes is the hottest combination a guy can have.
10. I love being in a relationship, but am way to picky to settle down.
11. My first gay experience was at the age of twelve, yet it still took me four more years to accept that I'm gay.
12. For the first time since high school I have a fag hag, NOW I HAVE TWO!!!!
13. Most people think I don't like them when they first meet me. It's not that at all, I'm just shy!
14. I can't think of a single person I personally know that I can say I truly "hate".
15. Despite the many things I say I dislike about myself, I'm very proud of who I am and what I've done with my life so far.
16. I had to think way to hard to come up with 16 facts about myself.
These are 16 Me Facts that I wrote in Dec. 2008. Reading through those made me realize that I'm not too happy with how I've changed in the past 3 years. Team Awesome is gone, which is old news. But I really do miss having that group of friends! It was something amazing and made for little time to be bored. I am now in a spectacular relationship with Gilbert who I love more than anything. I don't feel like I have a fag hag anymore... I definitely miss that presence in my life. There are people that I've started saying I hate. And then comes #15 on the list... I think this is what I've lost the most. My pride has greatly diminished, dragging my confidence down with it. Looking at this list makes me realize that I was a lot more confident and ultimately happier 3 years ago. So my first resolution is to get back to that! I miss this mentality! I'm still fairly easy going, but there's something missing now. I'm going to spend this year finding it, and enjoying every second of life again!
#2.
This is the one I posted on Facebook. I want to do more shows. Reflecting on 2011 made me realize that I had only done 1 show the entire year. I had vocal issues and travel plans that seemed to put a damper on my usual life choices. This year, I'm working through them all to be in several shows! The first on my radar is Legally Blonde! Emmet here I come!
#3.
At the end of 2012, I want to look back and say that I regret nothing from the previous year.
#4.
Just thought of this one now. I will blog at least once a month. About anything! Just so long as this poor blog doesn't get neglected again. I love going back and reading through my old blogs to see where I was years ago.
There we go. 2012 begins. I'm determined to make this the best year of my life, with 2 awesome trips in the work, I just have to hold true to these resolutions and I should be able to achieve it!
If you're reading this and haven't spoken to me in a while, hit me up! Chances are I'd really love to hear from you.
I fail...
6 MONTHS WITHOUT A POSTING! That's worse than I've ever done since creating my first blog.
So here we go, 2012 if here and I'm excited for the possibilities it holds. The past few days have been fairly eye opening and I've had a lot of time to really think about things. Now I'm not one for resolutions, but I think this year I need them. So here they are.
#1.
I'll start this one with a list:
1. I'm the biggest push-over in the world.
2. Stealing this one from Dea: I love Team Awesome...Bitch! I'm so happy I have a group of theatre friends again!!!
3. For the first time ever I'm living in a place I don't consider home.
4. Music is my greatest passion, my goal in life is to find someone with the same tastes in music as me.
5. I rarely ever miss people after not seeing them for a while. If I say I miss you it means you're special.
6. I never liked wine until Dea and her alcoholic ways showed me the light... I love my wine buddy!!!
7. I've been a vegetarian for over two years now, and plan to continue being one until I'm told by a doctor to stop for health reasons.
8. I've still never once been high. Hadn't been drunk until a week after my 21st birthday.
9. I think dark hair and blue eyes is the hottest combination a guy can have.
10. I love being in a relationship, but am way to picky to settle down.
11. My first gay experience was at the age of twelve, yet it still took me four more years to accept that I'm gay.
12. For the first time since high school I have a fag hag, NOW I HAVE TWO!!!!
13. Most people think I don't like them when they first meet me. It's not that at all, I'm just shy!
14. I can't think of a single person I personally know that I can say I truly "hate".
15. Despite the many things I say I dislike about myself, I'm very proud of who I am and what I've done with my life so far.
16. I had to think way to hard to come up with 16 facts about myself.
These are 16 Me Facts that I wrote in Dec. 2008. Reading through those made me realize that I'm not too happy with how I've changed in the past 3 years. Team Awesome is gone, which is old news. But I really do miss having that group of friends! It was something amazing and made for little time to be bored. I am now in a spectacular relationship with Gilbert who I love more than anything. I don't feel like I have a fag hag anymore... I definitely miss that presence in my life. There are people that I've started saying I hate. And then comes #15 on the list... I think this is what I've lost the most. My pride has greatly diminished, dragging my confidence down with it. Looking at this list makes me realize that I was a lot more confident and ultimately happier 3 years ago. So my first resolution is to get back to that! I miss this mentality! I'm still fairly easy going, but there's something missing now. I'm going to spend this year finding it, and enjoying every second of life again!
#2.
This is the one I posted on Facebook. I want to do more shows. Reflecting on 2011 made me realize that I had only done 1 show the entire year. I had vocal issues and travel plans that seemed to put a damper on my usual life choices. This year, I'm working through them all to be in several shows! The first on my radar is Legally Blonde! Emmet here I come!
#3.
At the end of 2012, I want to look back and say that I regret nothing from the previous year.
#4.
Just thought of this one now. I will blog at least once a month. About anything! Just so long as this poor blog doesn't get neglected again. I love going back and reading through my old blogs to see where I was years ago.
There we go. 2012 begins. I'm determined to make this the best year of my life, with 2 awesome trips in the work, I just have to hold true to these resolutions and I should be able to achieve it!
If you're reading this and haven't spoken to me in a while, hit me up! Chances are I'd really love to hear from you.
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